4 TIPS for Black people attending their first White Thanksgiving
My man is White. We’ve been together for almost 7 years and we spend all of our Thanksgivings with his family (Christmas we spend with my family). So, I’ve attended many White Thanksgivings. I love having Thanksgiving with his family, but I have noticed a few differences between his family and mine. Of course, most of the ways Black and White people celebrate Thanksgiving are similar, but the differences are where the comedy is and since I’m a comedian, I look for the funny.
So, if you’re a Black person about to embark on your very first White Thanksgiving, here are some tips and tricks so that you’re prepared and their potato salad doesn’t get the jump on you!
1. There will be no sweet potato pie. Pumpkin pie only. I’m sorry.
This was a surprise to me but sweet potato pie isn’t a staple at the White Thanksgiving. They do pumpkin pie. I don’t know why. I’ve never tried it. Is it good? Maybe. It’s weird biting into something that looks like it should taste like sweet potato pie but doesn’t — I imagine. As I said, I’ve never tried it. Just go in knowing you may not get your sweet potato pie fix and I’m sorry. If it helps you, I won’t be having any sweet potato pie Thursday either.
2. I don’t know what they put in that potato salad. No one knows. Don’t eat it.
You should know this already. Black people don’t even eat everybody’s potato salad in our own family. You certainly shouldn’t dive in and try just anybody’s potato salad at the White Thanksgiving. If they serve potato salad at all, and they may not because it also isn’t a staple (gasp!), and you’re not sure of the ingredients (raisins?) then don’t risk it — just don’t. Trust your gut.
3. Aunt is pronounced ANT. It’s unclear why.
Yeah, they say “Ant Barbara.” I don’t know why. It’s subtle but I always notice it. Should you correct them? Yes. White people love to be corrected. I’m kidding. Don’t correct White people at Thanksgiving.
4. There will be no blessing over the food. I mean they’ll pray but it’ll go so fast you’ll hardly remember it. Almost like it never happened. You’re welcome.
This is one of the perks: a short prayer. Sometimes they won’t pray at all! So informal. It’s glorious. It feels like wearing jeans to church, which in my family is a felony with a mandatory minimum. It’ll feel wrong. And maybe it is wrong but what’re you gonna do, start your own side prayer? Or worse yet, offer to do the blessing for everyone then subject these poor unsuspecting White people to the Black marathon Thanksgiving prayer? That’s the equivalent of a hijacking and they won’t stand for it. Even polite White people will interject and shut you down. And what do you have to gain from that? Cold food? Exactly. You’re already having pumpkin pie and strange potato salad and now it’s going to congeal and glaze over because you wanted to make a prayer point? Don’t do it. Just thank your lucky stars you’re at a White Thanksgiving and get to eat faster.
So that’s it Black people. Keep these tips in the back of your mind and you’ll be fine. It’s a beautiful thing to share Thanksgiving with new people, have fun!